Are You Listening To Me?
We all want to be heard. However, the quieter you become the more you can
hear. Have I caught your attention? Are you willing
to listen for a couple of minutes about some good advice to consider while having
face to face communications with another person or group? Today’s world of
emails, twitter, and facebook often take the one-on-one component out of
communication. Although these online exchanges are important tools to use
today, nothing is more telling than a face to face meeting. Every day we are in conversations or verbal
exchanges with family, friends, co-workers, vendors, customers and the list
goes on. If your days are busy, you could have 100 or more interactions a day,
some brief, some longer. It is natural to want to be heard and often you have
to speak up to make your point of view. We have all been “the one” who feels
that what we have to say is the most important message to be heard. To be a
good communicator however, you have to be a good listener. It is natural for people to want to talk about
themselves and we have all been in exchanges where you just cannot get a word
in. Often people just want a forum to be heard and the good listener, the
person who listens intently and with empathy, understands this. Have you ever
been in a meeting where everyone is talking and wants to be heard and finally
someone in the group will notice the quiet one and say, “you are being very
quiet, don’t you have anything to add?” that person is probably a good
listener. When you listen and hear what is being said you have a deeper
understanding and meaning. Try incorporating
a few of these 7 steps to effective listening and see what you hear:
1. Face
the speaker and maintain eye contact.
2. Be
attentive but relaxed.
3. Keep
an open mind.
4. Don’t
interrupt and don’t impose your solutions.
5. Wait
for the speaker to pause to ask clarifying questions.
6. Avoid
finishing the speaker’s sentences.
7. Pay
attention to what isn’t being said.
Being a good listener for most does not come
naturally. It takes practice and patience, good luck!