Are You Listening To Me?

We all want to be heard. However, the quieter you become the more you can hear. Have I caught your attention? Are you willing to listen for a couple of minutes about some good advice to consider while having face to face communications with another person or group? Today’s world of emails, twitter, and facebook often take the one-on-one component out of communication. Although these online exchanges are important tools to use today, nothing is more telling than a face to face meeting. Every day we are in conversations or verbal exchanges with family, friends, co-workers, vendors, customers and the list goes on. If your days are busy, you could have 100 or more interactions a day, some brief, some longer. It is natural to want to be heard and often you have to speak up to make your point of view. We have all been “the one” who feels that what we have to say is the most important message to be heard. To be a good communicator however, you have to be a good listener. It is natural for people to want to talk about themselves and we have all been in exchanges where you just cannot get a word in. Often people just want a forum to be heard and the good listener, the person who listens intently and with empathy, understands this. Have you ever been in a meeting where everyone is talking and wants to be heard and finally someone in the group will notice the quiet one and say, “you are being very quiet, don’t you have anything to add?” that person is probably a good listener. When you listen and hear what is being said you have a deeper understanding and meaning. Try incorporating a few of these 7 steps to effective listening and see what you hear:

1.      Face the speaker and maintain eye contact.

2.      Be attentive but relaxed.

3.      Keep an open mind.

4.      Don’t interrupt and don’t impose your solutions.

5.      Wait for the speaker to pause to ask clarifying questions.

6.      Avoid finishing the speaker’s sentences.

7.      Pay attention to what isn’t being said.

Being a good listener for most does not come naturally. It takes practice and patience, good luck!